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a myspace message that took too long to share with only 1 person   
05:11pm 03/01/2007
  hey patrick.

Noats has only had 1 tour, it was like 4 or 5 shows and it was haaaard to book. Brian and I have been on a few tours with the band Blue Velvt that we're in. I've learned some stuff and have a scattared flurry of advice to give that would serve you better if I planned this better but it's late, so let's get to it.

I'm assuming that you're committed to all ages shows; this makes it even more difficult (but ultimately a good thing cuz who wants to play some wack bar in philly with a buncha yuppies?).

We basically started by asking friends who live out of town if they could hook us up or tell us how to find the punks in various towns.

If a good show offer comes along (and by "good" I mean "any," any show you book on tour is a miracle) commit to it and plan an itinerary around that date. So if the Avant Gentlemens Club in Philly says they can book you for August 9th, take it and look for shows in Jersey or try The Globe Cafe in Bethlehem Pennsylvania for the 7th and/ or 8th of August.

Don't plan on any days off, it's expensive and boring and lonely on the road if you aren't playing shows every single night.

You should be as far from home in the middle of tour to keep drives as shot as possible (time and money must be saved at all costs). In other words, if you're going as far west as chicago and your dates are August 1 - August 10th, try to play Chicago on the 5th or 6th and start heading back east. Figure Bethlehem, Philly, Pittsburgh, bloomington, chicago, dekalb, chicago again (I love chicago), cicncinatti, covington kentucky, philly again, ptterson NJ, home. Something like that.

Once your itinerary is loosely planned use myspace. Search by area code all punk bands and punk houses and suburban homes that have shows within 50 miles of the cities along the way. (By the way, the suburbs is where it's at, don't disregard them.) Friend every single band and venue. myspace message them with personal messages, no bullshit cookie cutter shit. Tell them what you like about their songs or pictures or whatever. Then you gotta ask them if they can get you a show or if they know someone else who can. Try to get on the phone with these contacts asap, people take it more seriously than myspace.

You should expect to be let down.I would sometimes send 45 messages and get 3 replies, all saying they couldn't help us. You gotta keep it up. Booking a tour is a full time job.

You should start planning 4-5 months beforehand. A lot of people you contact will say "I have no idea what we're doing in august, try me in June and maybe I can help you." That's a good thing cuz when you try them in June they'll take you seriously.

Tell them what dates are possible for you (remember you're driving near philly twice so Aug 2, 3, 8, and 9 are all possible early in the game) and just be nice to everyone.

Figure out what car/ cars you are taking. Having 2 cars is nice because if people get sick of eachother, they can take a break from eachother to avoid bitch fests. It is however much more expensive in gas and tolls.

Speaking of which, keep a record of BAND EXPENSES. Which pretty much means gas and tolls and car rental if you have to do that. (Food, and anything else is a personal expense, not a band expense.) Decide beforehand how payment is going to happen. Any money the band is paid at shows or is made in merch sales goes to band expenses. Whatever debt is left over should be divided among members.

Do not expect to make a profeit on tour, expect to lose money.

It is a good idea to bring a friend or "roadie" who is not in the band with you for morale and to guarantee an audience of at least 1 at every show (you think that was a joke.)

The roadie should not have to pay any band expenses.

When tour is under a month away and you still only have a few shows booked, you must start searching for all punk shows in philly or chicago or wherever (which you can do by zip code with myspace) and asking the people putting it together if you can play. Tell them that you're a young touring band who is desperate to fill a date and that they don't have to pay you if they can't afford to and that you'll play a 20 minute set if need be. I'm telling you you are going to have to send this meessage dozens if not hundreds of times.

Take every show offer you get unless they are supporting something bad (white power, boy scouts), every show is a good show.

Also you should know that if there are 3 bands playing, you should do your best to go 2nd. TIf there are 4 bands, 2nd or 3rd. Ultimately it's not up to you when you play but it's ok to tell them your preference as long as you're not a dick about it. Say something like, "I just hope not everyone leaves before we play. We would love to play somewhere in the middle if that works for you. If not that's totally cool though."

Once you're at the show, you must be extremely nice to everyone there and ask them if you can crash at their place. You cannot pay for motels, ever. The money you are paid at shows will not be enough for gas, and you still gotta eat. Paying for a motel is insane; sleep in the car.

In terms of food, you should bring fruit in a cooler, no junkfood. You need the most nutrition for the least ammount of money. Bring peanutbutter and jelly and bread and a knife. Do not buy beverages, ever. We like to bring a big can of iced tea mix to add to the water that we steal from sinks in public bathrooms.

Also, it's funny to draw stupid stuff on sheets of paper and show it to other cars you pass on the highways. (Blue Velvet uses a drawing of a dick.)

Print out directions to every show and keep 5 copies of them: in your pocket, in the glove compartment, in the back of your amp, they should be everywhere.

Keep a solid list of contacts you make on the road. Everyone wants to help touring bands because they know that it is nearly impossible to do. When someone in NY says they know a guy who does shows, that's good to hear. When someone on the road says that, it's gold. Keep that list and use it the next time you go on tour, this way booking gets easier ever tour.

Don't expect to go to a Cubs game, you probbly don't have much time or money to do the whole tourist experience in the cities you're in, but you can walk around and meet people and stuff.

Bring stuff to read and play with. We always bring baseball mitts and play catch. It's free and provides hours of entertainment.

Never drive more that 10 MPH over the speed limit. You can't afford a ticket and god forbid you get a summons to appear in court in Illinois.

I have never felt nearly as alive or satisfied as I have felt on the road touring. If you really love making music, it's the best time you can ever have in the human experience.
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copied from Alana's LJ Christmas 2002   
12:34pm 25/12/2006
mood: i don't fucking know

It was Chrisbus time but Randolph was alone. Where were
all his good pals. Bernie, Dave, Nicky, Alice, Beddy, Freba,
Viggy, Nigel, Alfred, Clive, Stan, Frenk, Tom, Harry, George,
Harold? Where were they on this day? Randolf looged saggly at
his only Chrispbut cart from his dad who did not live there.
'I can't understan this being so aloneley on the one day
of the year when one would surely spect a pal or two?' thought
Rangolf. Hanyway he carried on putting ub the desicrations and
muzzle toe. All of a surgeon there was amerry timble on the
door. Who but who could be a knocking on my door? He opend it
and there standing there who? but only his pals. Bernie, Dave,
Nicky, Alice, Beddy, Freba, Viggy, Nigel, Alfred, Clive, Stan,
Frenk, Tom, Harry, George, Harolb weren't they?
Come on in old pals buddys and mates. With a big griff on
his face Randolff welcombed them. In they came jorking and
labbing shoubing 'Haddy Grimmble, Randoob.' and other hearty,
and then they all jumbed on him and did smite him with mighty
blows about his head crying, 'We never liked you all the years
we've known you. You were never raelly one of us you know, soft
They killed him you know, at least he didn't _die_ alone
did he? Merry Chrustchove, Randolf old pal buddy.

old friends become OLD friends and bring out my bad side.   
01:37am 06/09/2006
mood: oh who the fuck knows anymore
I started writing something that might have been a little nasty. I felt guilt and it felt good. It felt like friendship. Bill, if you still read LJ, call me.

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Holy Shit!   
02:30am 24/07/2006
mood: optimistic dispite loneliness?
Guess what? I want babies. I want to fall desperately in love and just get so ecstatic and to adopt a baby or three.

You know, I don't think I want to fall DESPERATELY in love. I've been desperate. I am desperate, most of the time, and I know what THAT'S like. No, I want to fall deeply, comfortably and artlessly in love. And I want her to love me too, you know?

I'm 22 and my LJ still looks like this. When does it end? John Fahey died alone, and he was great! He was a fucking renniassence man who read like an open book- no pretention or insincerity to speak of. He actually admitted (maybe even in the liner notes of one of his albums, or maybe in one of his books) that in his old age he wasn't happy because he had never been happy with a woman. That is SO FUCKING SAD.

You know Stravinsky was kind of the opposite of Fahey in one big way: Fahey said that all he has ever tried to do with music was to express emotion; Stravinsky said that music expresses nothing and that emotion doesn't exist in music (or something like that). But I love the shit out of both of those guys. Their music makes my everything feel great, including my intellect. I would go as far as to say that I have felt higher, or more in touch with that great thing (god, ecstasy, bliss, whatever you call it) listening to those dudes than I have ever felt performing music myself.

(This is not just limited to Fahey and Stravinsky. Fugazi and the beatles and countless others do it to me too. The Vibration does it to me. Have you heard Lady's Choice yet? It might be their best song. It fucks me up. I chill and cry and scream. Dancing seems so inadequate when a song is that good.) I'm a better listener than performer. I wonder if the same sort of thing applies to love in my case. Does that make sense? I dunno if I've experienced love vicariously through others or whatever (like you know instead of "performing" it or being involved in it myself) but I feel like something might be wrong with me. I'm like pretty sure that I'm actually still young and these things take time, and I'm super friendly and loving and it will happen some day, but what if there really is something wrong with me? I can't stand to be alone, literally and romanically (...old friend or acquaintence I just crave familiar faces...). I'm writing on my LJ because I'm thinking about people reading this, and I like that artificial attention. I care about the quality and clarity of this to the extent that I hope someone can agree with some part of this. It doesn't matter if the sentences suck or there's no IDEA or if there's any cohesion here. Clearly there's not. There are parts of this that don't make any sense to ME, the guy writing it. I'm not even checking my spelling, which is actually embarrassing. Can you stand any more of this self indulgence? Here's a little more.

I don't like to sleep in my own bed. I prefer the couch at 400 locust. I feel surrounded by exciting people. I like the couch at Colin's place too. I wish I was sleeping with Bill more often but that's ok.

I've been spending a lot of time with Ali and she's like my favorite person. Somehow she's the best friend ever. Despite our seemingly different personalities, we're getting along like so fucking well. I really feel alive in her presence. She recently taught me how to knit. I'm not that good but I'm improving really quickly.

Me and will are working on a film score. I think he might be the best musician on the scene. I love Old Table. Have you heard the one where the guitar goes "bink biiing. bink biiing. TaKaTa bink biiing. bink biiing. DINK!" There's also the new one that goes "Oh Yeaheheah what the fuck do you knoooow? What the fuck do you know anyway?"

Hat bands? Band Scrambler? Christ we gotta practice!

Even I'm getting bored now, but I'm still not tired. I would look at porn or something but most of that shit is really terrible and makes me feel bad to be a person.

Wait, I was born in 1984? and this post was made in 2006? There must be some sort of mistake.
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John Lurie Motherfucker!   
05:36pm 19/07/2006
  Guess who wrote the Conan O'Brian theme song? JOHN FUCKING LURIE! That's right, the guy from Down By Law. Also he's a painter now, and it's fucking beautiful.

go to www.strangeandbeautiful.com . And if you look at these and think, "Psh! Basquiat much?" Yeah well Basquiat lived on Lurie's couch for years. They developed that style together. he has stuff on display at ps1, who's going with me?

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05:56am 10/04/2006
mood: In need of lithium
(This is one of those weird nonsense LJ posts that is masturbatory. I'm not mad at anyone, on the contrary I'm really excited about my friendships right now, I'm just trying to make myself more ok with some things.)

When I was in Cancun, Mexico in 2003 with my family I was bored and drunk. No ammount of white russians and beautiful beaches could change the fact that I missed New York. I missed two people in particular who usually wore black and were on polar opposite sides of the ever-changing network of friends which I refer to as "The Westchester Scene." (They're both drop dead gorgeous by the way.) I thought about these two constantly, telling myself that when I got back to New York, these two would be there for me And they were there for me, and I'm still just as crazy about both of them. Of course the scene changed over the last few years and the two of them are not so far apart in the network anymore, and until a few months ago I thought I was incapable of jealousy and that I would never been in love. I still don't know what love is, but I now know jealousy and I can't sleep.
03:42am 21/03/2006
mood: at colin's house.
all five yankous have scabies.
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05:01am 20/03/2006
  Have you ever proofread one of your lj posts and quickly deemed everything propper only to click update then view and only then to notice the mistakes clear as day? this happens to me constantly. (it just happened to me a few minutes ago and it reminded me of a conversation I had with cj last night, the conversation from which most of what I say in this post comes from.)i think this is analogical evidence (analogical? am I crazy? it's an analogy, that's all I mean) than an artist must distance the self from the work and to try to experience the work as a pure viewer, and this should be done many times throughout the creative process. (if this didn't make any sense, read it again and ignore all the parenthetical crap, including this.)

(I guess an example is like if you come up with a cool piano part, or a sketch, or a stanza of a poem, you should try to look at it and decide if it works for you as an observer. If you only like it because the lines are at an 84 degree angle and 1984 is the year of your birth, well that fine for you, but who else cares? It's ok to do stuff like that, but if that's the only thing you like about it, well, put it in your wallet or something.)

If you and only you can get something worthwhile out of it because you understand it, well, why the fuck show it to other people? Yeah they can have their own interpretation etc but is that enough? I can interpret a stick. And I'm not saying we creative people should be trying to make things accessible or easy to swallow so that the masses get it; definately sincerity in creation is most important and if that means you have to be esoteric, so be it. (I'm sorta fuckin esoteric sometimes I guess.) What I'm saying is that the artist should try as much as possible to make something that would move/ please/ effect/ work for (whatever) himself/ herself even if someone else made it. It's still sincere because you're making it for yourself the observer, not yourself the artist. Making things for yourself the artist is masturbation. Of course there's nothing wrong with masturbation, but that's what your diary is for. (Unless you're some kind of anais nin type, in which case you're totally aware the whole time that your diary is for other people too.) But LJ is different. This whole time I've put clarifiers and such in here that I wouldn't bother with if this were my diary because I want anyone who reads this to get something out of it. The same should go for making music or a movie or a poem.

Don't you think?

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{Suzanne Langer said we get Virtual Feeling from art which synthesizes real feelings. I think she's   
04:44am 20/03/2006
  (Subject line continued) full of shit. Most of the REAL feelings I have come from art (listening to Stravinsky or Elvis Costello or whatever). The "real life" feelings pale in comparison to what she believes is simulaical art-related "virtual feeling." In other words seeing a good movie moves me more than my interactions with people. Furthermore, in regards to the "virtual" nature of experiencing art, I have this to offer: The first time I heard The Rite of Spring was a legitimate emotional event in my life, just like when my cat was born. These past two points i just made bring me to my big question: Is Langer full of shit or am I?}

Today was all about Elvis Costello and your title track was so fucking true, like practically every word, except I don't know if it's killing you, and I think his story is a few years down the line or something.


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A Vegetarian Abomination!   
01:17pm 21/02/2006
mood: optimistic dispite headache
Two things:

I'm a Vegetarian now.

Abomination is a strong word, perhaps the strongest. Can you think of a stronger word? Give it a shot. I want at least 40 responses here.

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02:37am 22/01/2006
mood: ironically, tired.
You know how when you're 9, a playdate at Adam Ricciardi's house, with video games and soda is the most exciting thing ever? And you know how when you're 11 you start walking into town to buy $6 of candy and maybe go skateboarding or some shit? And you know how when you're 14 that kinda stuff is still fun, but nothing to get too excited about? And you know how when you start going to shows it changes your life and is the best thing ever? And you know when 40 hands starts happening? Things just keep getting more and more exciting to fit your needs for a higher power of excitment, until you reach my age.

At 20 or 21 you're expected to peak. At that point you're supposed to be more likely to think, "I'm not going to do much tonight; I need sleep." You are expected to step backwards. Going to a bar until midnight is supposed to be enough excitement for a Friday night. Well guess what? I'm still on my way up, and I need my social activity not only to stay awesome, but to keep getting awesomer. Is anyone with me? Sweeney? Anyone? Can we have some fucking dance parties for fucks sake? Will any of you please come to my place? What's wrong with Bushwick?

My older friends, we used to say that Jen (or Sarah or whoever) 'pussed' whenever (s)he went home at 2 AM, even if they had work at 10 the next morning. Someone with a pint of Carlo Rossi would contend, "I've got work at 9!" When I was 17, the prospect of hanging out with any of you was giddying. There were a bunch of us at Ann's in the YO recently. Jake, Jen, Tone etc. It was great. Conversation and music and enthusiasm and eachother was all we needed for a great time. Holy shit it was awesome. Can we stop going to bars and just do that all the time?

My younger friends, you've been seeing a lot more of me. I hope this isn't weird. I'm just trying to surround myself with enthusiastic, positive, fun people. TJ has been doing the same thing, and now he roles with a crew 7 years younger than he is. It's great. I really like all of you. I want to be a real friend, it's ok if you were friends with the KY first.

I'm not looking for nostalgia, I'm not looking for another "The Estate." I'm just trying to have some fun. I'm not even looking for a debauch, just some good positive conversation and companionship. And I want it to happen constantly.

Am I making sense? Tommy can you hear me?

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I'm a murderer!   
04:33pm 04/01/2006
  I think I have a tendancy to be a little dramatic so that I feel like I'm alive. I don't think it's insincere, I just let it all out, don't hold back, and maybe exaggerate once in a while. When the DMV says that I haven't payed my ticket and my lisence is going to be suspended (Those bastards. I've sent them checks twice, and they insist that they didn't get it!) I throw a fit. I like throwing fits. When I listen to Kimya Dawson or Jeff Lewis, or Fugazi or the Vibration or whatever, I respond physically sometimes. I get goosebumps or I get adrenaline rushes, or I cry or whatever. You should really sit with me and listen to Ravel's Bolero or Stravinsky's Rites of Spring (Yes, the emo band, fronted by Guy Fugazi was in fact named after the Stravinsky work. When it was premeired in 1913, a riot in the streets followed. It's really great.)

In high school, I prided myself on being in perfect equillebrium. Nothing phased me. I rolled with the punches with a smile on my face. I was rational. I had my shit together. That got boring. I've made my life an emotional rollercoaster because that's just more fun. But the high school me came back yesterday when I killed a dog with my car.

I was on my way to the Twofold Truth/ band that resembles swing heil show, driving the KY's car, KY in shotgun. I was getting off exit 2 to get over to the FDR. I would have gotten off at exit 3 because it's easier, but some big black SUV didn't let me change lanes, the motherfucker. Anyway, I was having trouble getting over to the right, and as soon as I did, I saw a tiny dog with a collar right in front of me, running from the right lane towards the center of the highway. I screamed "OH SHIT!" as loud and fast as I could as I ran it over with my front and back left wheels. "Fuck! I just killed that fucking dog! What the fuck!?" Was my immediate response. That's the modern Steve. The one who is an emotional rollercoaster. (The modern Steve, and I know that refering to yourself in 3rd person is lame, would think: Holy shit, what an experience. That was terrible, but it was real life.) KY was shocked (I'm assuming) but silent. Should we go back? No. There's no shoulder to pull over onto, and absolutely nothing we could do. It had probably been run over bu at least 20 tires by the time that thought even crossed my mind.

Within 15 seconds or so I had calmed down. I used a sort of rational thought devise that I've constructed where you detatch yourself from a situation by thinking, "This happens all the time. If it wasn't me it would be somebody else, and I had essentially nothing to do with this." That's the high school me coming back. I told the KY that this wasn't my fault. He agreed absolutely. He said that he blamed the black SUV for not letting me get off at exit 3. I'm not sure if he was kidding or not, but I thought it was funny. It provided some much needed comic relief. It's true that the dog didn't stand a chance. The KY and I talked about it. We wondered how the fuck a dog got up there in the first place and concluded that it had not crossed 1 lane at its time of death. There were 2 more lanes then a divider, meaning that it would have to turn around and come back in order to survive. That would be completely impossible. I decided, and articulated this to Kevin immediately, that I wouldn't let this get me down, but that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was scared that this would sink in and really get to me.

I'm glad to report today that I'm feeling no guilt whatsoever. I've rationalized this, taken the emotion out of it and realized that life goes on. Fuck it. This shit happens all the time and I had essentially nothing to do with it. On the other hand, I killed a fucking dog! That's fucked up!

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04:44pm 13/12/2005
  reciepts, paperwork, inconveniences. This is what life is when you're an adult. I recommend that you avoid it al all costs.

I'm not talking about taking a year off before college, I'm talking about finding your own Walden Pond.

Get the fuck out while you can.

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Tommy's Tavern in Greenpoint   
05:54pm 21/11/2005
  11/25/2005 07:30 PM - Tommy's Tavern
1041 Manhattan Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11222,US
$2 Suggested Donation
Friday 25 November 2005 - 7:30 PM

No One and the Somebodies
General Miggs
The Drinkers Themselves
Huver Flags
(The order of bands is undetermined. We probably won't be on too late.)

at TOMMY'S TAVERN corner of Manhattan Ave. + Freeman St. Brooklyn, NY Take the G train to Greenpoint Ave.

This show is in Greenpoint, a very nice, very safe neighborhood. It's on the same block as the Mark Bar for all you Brooklyn Acquainted folk. We've played there before and no one asked for IDs or anything. There won't be a problem. There is a $2 suggested donation. The penniless will not be turned away. Please don't take advantage of our (all the bands) generosity. Steve is playing guitar in General Miggs temporarilly, so if you're interested in seeing that, definately come to this show. This is going to be very very amazing.
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05:59pm 01/11/2005
  I forgot to tell everyone about this show on thursday.

No One and the Somebodies, Wildabeast, Communication Corporation

November, 3 2005
SUNY Purchase Student Center
735 Anderson Hill Road, Purchase, NY 10577
Free - All Ages

(We're playing in the little room in the student center. If you're not a Purchase kid or of college age try to stay out of sight of the Purchase po-po. Maybe just try to stay inside the student center and hide. That's what Anne Frank did... until they found her. Anyway, it's free and all ages and hopefully we're not playing last.)
05:00pm 24/10/2005
  Our Halloween party will be on that Sunday, October 30th. That much has changed but all this remains true:

Here's where we live: http://maps.google.com/maps?oi=map&q=246+Troutman+St,+Brooklyn,+NY

246 Troutman St. (Near the corner of Knickerbocker and Troutman)
Apt 3L
Brooklyn, NY 11237
Brian: (917) 627-0161
Steve: (914) 564-2764

By subway: Take the L train to Jefferson St.

Please dress up for this thing, I don't want to be the only moron with green paint all over my head. Call us if you have any questions. Ok, lates, brosephs!

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Hollow weiner.   
01:49pm 20/10/2005
  Ok, dudebros and dudeladies. Steve and I have finally stopped being fools and have chosen a date for our all-out Halloween bash. The date is Saturday, October 29th. We decided on this date because actual Halloween is on a Monday which stinks because I've got a night class on Monday and an early class on tuesday and blah blah bah. I know that weekend is packed full of a lot of other events our friends are probably planning on attending but we picked Saturday because It's the night that World/Inferno isn't playing. The only sucky thing is that the K.Y. will be in Canada but I guess that's what he gets for going away for Halloween weekend. There will be other parties in the future.

Here's where we live:


246 Troutman St. (Near the corner of Knickerbocker and Troutman)
Apt 3L
Brooklyn, NY 11237
Brian: (917) 627-0161
Steve: (914) 564-2764

By subway: Take the L train to Jefferson St.

Please dress up for this thing, I don't want to be the only moron with green paint all over my head. Call us if you have any questions. Ok, lates, brosephs!

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I'm sure you already know, but this is just a reminder...   
01:07pm 20/10/2005
copy and circulate! swat team go!   
10:11pm 18/10/2005
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copy and circulate! sawt team go!   
10:08pm 18/10/2005
  Image hosted by Photobucket.com  
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